Restricted Romance: “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” Meaning, Explained

Dancing with our Hands Tied is classic Taylor Swift: cryptic, coded, and deeply personal. This song discusses a situation where she was stuck, with no easy way out.

But what does it mean to ‘dance with your hands tied,’ what is restricting her romance, and how will she cope with this world “full of cages, full of fences?”

Here’s my full English teacher analysis of Taylor’s Dancing With Our Hands Tied meaning, line by line.

Cover image for a blog post analyzing the song 'Dancing With Our Hands Tied' by Taylor Swift, featuring a stylized newspaper header 'Daily Swift' with 'Breaking News' and 'Special Edition' flanking the title. The central focus is the phrase 'Analyzing DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED' in bold, black serif lettering. A Taylor Swift quote, 'I had a bad feelin',' is cited below in quotation marks, and the footer includes 'Swiftly Sung Stories' in an informal script font.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

  • Title: “Dancin’ With Our Hands Tied” 
  • Written by: Taylor Swift, Shellback, Max Martin, Oscar Holter
  • Track: 11, reputation (2017) 
  • Pen: Fountain
  • Lyrics from Genius

Dancing With Our Hands Tied Lyrics: Narrative Summary

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (correctly spelled “Dancin’ With Our Hands Tied”) is sandwiched between King of My Heart and Dress on the Reputation album. King of My Heart seems to be about a current love of Taylor’s (at the time of writing the song), and so does Dress.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied lyrics are in past tense, so we know we’re taking a look back at something in the past. It’s both nostalgic and sad, trying to make a situation where she wanted to be with someone, but circumstances prevented it.

  • Setting: In the past: Taylor at age 25.
  • Characters: Narrator (Taylor), subject (love interest).
  • Mood: Nostalgic, regretful.
  • Conflict: Outside circumstances or disagreements prevent their happiness.
  • Inciting Incident: “People started talking” – gossip.
  • Quest: Apologize, and tell this person that she would do it over again differently if she could.
  • Symbols & Metaphors: “Hands in my pockets,” “invisible locket”, “dancing with our hands tied”
  • Theme: Regret.
  • Imagery: “frozen,” “deep blue,” “painted me golden”, “avalanche”, “water rushes in,” “swaying as the room burned down.”
  • Lesson: You can’t turn back time to make different choices.

What is Dancing With Our Hands Tied About? 

This track describes a new relationship, in which there are obstacles the pair need to overcome in order to keep their love going. 

To have your “hands tied” means that you can’t do what you want or need, because something prevents you from doing so. 

Taylor’s central metaphor of “dancing with our hands tied” means that they were restricted, and couldn’t do what they wanted in their relationship. 

Who is Dancing With Our Hands Tied About? 

In the reputation secret sessions, Taylor revealed that she wrote this song about being hounded by paparazzi while with her (then new) boyfriend Joe Alwyn. They had been holed up for months (maybe in a “sacred oasis”?), and when they finally stepped out, it was overwhelming and traumatic. 

She said she went straight to the studio and wrote this song while crying, wondering how she could ever have a private relationship when her life is so complicated and public. 

Dancing With Our Hands Tied Meaning: Line by Line

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The first verse lyrics read: 
"I, I loved you in secret
First sight, yeah, we love without reason
Oh, twenty-five years old
Oh, how were you to know? And
My, my love had been frozen
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
Oh, and you held me close
Oh, how was I to know? I"

The first verse sets the scene that she’s looking back over a younger period in her life. 

“I, I loved you in secret,” she says, “First sight, yeah, we love without reason.” She loved this person at first sight, with no reasonable explanation as to why. 

Secret love – and hidden love – are major themes on reputation, which Taylor also explores in Delicate, Ready For It, Dress, and So it Goes. Is the subject of Dancing With Our Hands Tied the central, secret relationship of the album? 

“Oh, twenty-five years old,” she says, providing a time marker, “Oh, how were you to know?” She was 25, or he was 25. It’s an age where you think you have this adult life figured out, but in reality, have very little experience in the real world. 

“My, my love had been frozen,” she says of her past heartbreaks, “Deep blue, but you painted me golden.” Her heart had grown cold and blue, but then he came along, warmed her (“he built a fire just to keep me warm”), and painted her the golden color of true love. 

Colors are important in the Swiftverse, and previously, Taylor thought love was “burning red.” But as time has gone on, she sees the rainbow of love differently. This is the first instance of “golden” as symbolic of true love, which Taylor will go on to use in Daylight. 

“Oh, and you held me close,” she says, comforted and protected by him, “Oh, how was I to know?” This is ominous – something big is looming on the horizon, targeting their relationship, and we don’t know what it is yet. 

Pre-Chorus: “Picture of Your Face in an Invisible Locket”

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The first pre-chorus lyrics read:
"I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
You said there was nothin' in the world that could stop it
I had a bad feelin'
And darlin', you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
People started talkin', puttin' us through our paces
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it
I had a bad feelin'"

“I could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets,” she says in the first pre-chorus, “Picture of your face in an invisible locket.” They have the intimacy of early love, where a flirtatious and comfortable hand in a pocket makes your heart skip a beat. 

But she has to keep a “picture of your face in an invisible locket,” meaning she can’t publicly declare her feelings for him. An invisible locket means that only she knows how important this person is to her. She can’t hold him publicly, so she keeps him close to her heart privately. 

“You said there was nothin’ in the world that could stop it,” she says of his reassurances, but “I had a bad feelin’.” He assures her that this love will stand up to scrutiny, whatever may come, but she’s not so sure. 

“And darlin’, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis,” she says, holed up in a private love bubble, but then “People started talkin’, puttin’ us through our paces.” Word about them somehow gets out, and the tabloid fodder starts churning. 

“I knew there was no one in the world who could take it,” she says, devastated, “I had a bad feelin’.” This goes back to the central worry that Taylor has always had about relationships:
Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?” 

The person who chooses to be with her needs to have nerves of steel for the incredible scrutiny that she tolerates daily. Is he the person who can stay? She’s not sure. 

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Chorus: “Dancin’ With Our Hands Tied”

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The first chorus lyrics read: 
"But we were dancin'
Dancin' with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancin'
Like it was the first time, first time
Yeah, we were dancin'
Dancin' with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancin'
And I had a bad feelin'
But we were dancin'"

“But we were dancin’,” she says, despite the storm surrounding them, “Dancin’ with our hands tied, hands tied.” They continue the “dance” of love, a metaphor also used in songs like Fearless, Holy Ground, Glitch, and cowboy like me. 

What is “dancing with our hands tied”? It’s a double-entendre. It means on one hand, that they are’ in an intimate, romantic moment: dancing with their hands laced together (or…other actions in which hands would be tied or bound).

But in the second meaning, they’re restrained by circumstance – they can’t move, they can’t act, because each action has a consequence they don’t want. The relationship is restricted by external forces. 

“Yeah, we were dancin’,” she says, “Like it was the first time, first time.” They continue this young romance, infatuated with one another in the all-encompassing stages of early love. It’s almost like she’s never been through this before, and can pretend it won’t end badly. 

“Yeah, we were dancin’,” she says, “And I had a bad feelin’ / But we were dancin’.” She keeps performing the “dance” of love with him, even though the music is starting to sound ominous. They keep swaying anyway, too in love to shut it down, but too worried to be carefree. 

Verse 2: “Can We Dance Through an Avalanche?”

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The second verse lyrics read: "I, I loved you in spite of
Deep fears that the world would divide us
So, baby, can we dance
Oh, through an avalanche? And
Say, say that we got it
I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted
Oh, 'cause it's gravity
Oh, keeping you with me, I"

“I, I loved you in spite of,” she says in the second verse, “Deep fears that the world would divide us.” She keeps going with him, despite an overwhelming sense of dread. The outside world is coming for their “sacred oasis,” and she knows she can’t keep this locked down forever. 

“So, baby, can we dance,” she asks, “Oh, through an avalanche?” The deluge is coming, threatening to sweep them away, and “freeze” her love once again. 

“Say, say that we got it,” she asks him for reassurance, “I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted.” ‘Can you love all of me, despite my crazy life?’ she asks, ‘or is this too much for anyone to withstand?’ 

Despite all the chaos, “it’s gravity,” she says, “Oh, keeping you with me.” Forces of nature try to tear them apart (“avalanche”), but forces of physics keep them together. They keep falling into one another, farther and farther, and it feels as natural as gravity. 

Bridge: “Swaying as The Room Burned Down”

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The bridge lyrics read: "I'd kiss you as the lights went out
Swayin' as the room burned down
I'd hold you as the water rushes in
If I could dance with you again
I'd kiss you as the lights went out
Swayin' as the room burned down
I'd hold you as the water rushes in
If I could dance with you again (Again, yeah)"

The pre-chorus and chorus repeat, then she lays out the worst-case scenario in the bridge. 

“I’d kiss you as the lights went out,” she says, assuring him that she’d stay, no matter what. Even if their world turns dark, and it’s hard to see the way out, she’ll be there. 

They would be “Swayin’ as the room burned down,” she says, “I’d hold you as the water rushes in.” If the spark of their love ignites everything around them (like a media firestorm), and a flood of scrutiny threatens to sweep them away, she’ll still hold onto him.

Even as their world disintegrates around them, she’ll keep “dancing.” But then, the narrative seems to change. “If I could dance with you again” implies that this particular “dance” of love is over. Are they broken up, because of the fire, the flood, and the avalanche (the paparazzi, social media scrutiny, and obsessive fans)?

She repeats that no matter what happens, she’d stay, and she’d give anything “If I could dance with you again.” She wants another chance, and maybe on the second go-round, things will turn out differently. 

But this is also Taylor ruminating on the theme of “everything I touch turns into ashes”, like in her future song Bigger than the Whole Sky and others. Who can withstand the force of nature that she is, and that her career is? Who could stay? 

Final Chorus: “Hands Tied, Hands Tied”

Annotated portions of Taylor Swift's "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" lyrics on a newsprint background. Red English teacher's pen translates each line, points out double meanings, explains metaphors, and helps the reader understand the tone and message of the layered lyrics.
The final chorus and outro lyrics read: 
"Dancin' with our hands tied, hands tied
Yeah, we were dancin' (Oh, yeah, we were dancin')
Like it was the first time, first time (First time, first time)
Yeah, we were dancin' (Oh)
Dancin' with our hands tied, hands tied (Dancin' with our hands tied)
Yeah, we were dancin'
And I had a bad feelin' (Had a bad feelin')
But we were dancin'

[Outro]
Hands tied, hands tied
(Dancin')"

The final chorus repeats, but this time, the past tense is more noticeable. After she said “If I COULD dance with you again” in the bridge, we get the sense that this “dance” is all in past tense. 

It’s “we WERE dancin’,” not “we ARE dancin’.” This feels like they did not, in fact, withstand the firestorms, the floods, and the avalanches that descended upon their relationship. 

“Hands tied, hands tied,” she repeats in the outro. There was nothing she could do, and there was nothing he could do. This is her life, she laments, and anyone who is willing to stay with her will have to grow some thick skin, and keep their feet firmly planted on the ground. 

“Dancin’” echoes in the final line, emphasizing this dance of love. She ruminates on what they had, what they lost, and the odds stacked against them. 

Will they ever be able to “dance” again? Or are their hands forever bound, unable to reach their destination? 

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Dancing With Our Hands Tied Meaning: Final Thoughts 

Dancing with our Hands Tied goes from highest highs to lowest lows, and it’s a song that takes us on an epic love story with Taylor. 

This themes of growth, regret, and nostalgic remembrance – peppered with heartbreak – loom large on reputation and all her other records. It makes for some of her most touching and vulnerable songs.

We can speculate all we want about who this person is/was, but what’s more significant is how we see Taylor grow and change because of this experience. Like she said in the reputation Prologue:

“I’ve been in the public eye since I was 15 years old. On the beautiful, lovely side of that, I’ve been so lucky to make music for a living and look out into crowds of loving, vibrant people. On the other side of the coin, my mistakes have been used against me, my heartbreaks have been used as entertainment, and my songwriting has been trivialized as ‘oversharing.’”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied comments on her public-facing life in a way that she hadn’t done up until this point, and will become a major theme in later songs like Midnight Rain, Bejeweled, Dear Reader, mirrorball, and I Can Do it With A Broken Heart.

Can anyone “dance” with Taylor for life? Or is she destined to twirl up on her pedestal, hearing only “promises oceans deep, but never to keep?

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