Full Lyrical Analysis: Dissecting “But Daddy I Love Him” Meaning

One of the most surprising songs on The Tortured Poets Department, But Daddy I Love Him, sees Taylor playing with some classic narrative tropes. 

She’s the pastor’s daughter – the good christian girl – in love with a bad boy, and defending her romance to her disapproving “daddy.” 

But what’s really going on in this song, and what is Taylor saying (very pointedly) to her fans? 

Here’s my full English teacher analysis of But Daddy I Love Him meaning, line by line and trope by trope. 

Cover image for a post by Swiftly Sung Stories analyzing Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him". A vintage typewriter with a sheet of paper displays the words "But Daddy I Love Him" followed by "lyrical analysis."

But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift

  • Title: But Daddy I Love Him
  • Written by: Taylor Swift, Aaron Dessner
  • Track: 6, The Tortured Poets Department
  • Pen: Fountain (& a bit of quill)
  • Lyrics from Genius

But Daddy I Love Him Meaning: Narrative Summary

  • Setting: A metaphorical small Christian town. 
  • Characters: Narrator (Taylor, or another protagonist), Subject (her audience, her reader, “you”), lover (“he”). 
  • Mood: Sarcastic, defiant, angry. 
  • Conflict: Strangers try to control her. 
  • Inciting Incident: “They slammed the door / On my whole world”: the world voiced their opinions on her love life. 
  • Quest: Tell her audience to back off: her life is not ours to critique. 
  • Symbols & Metaphors: “But Daddy I love him,” “west was won,” “these people,” “raise you to cage you,” “Sarahs and Hannahs in their sunday best,” “clutchin their pearls,” “save you cause they hate you,” “too high a horse,” “simple girl,” “rise above,” “slammed the door on my whole world,” “runnin’ with my dress unbuttoned,” “I’m havin’ his baby,” “you should see your faces,” “floor it through the fences,” “coming to my senses,” “dutiful daughter,” “plans were laid,” “woven braid,” “growin’ up,” “chaos” & “reverlry,” “bedroom eyes like a remedy,” “elders had convened,” “city hall,” “saboteurs protested too much,” “the words we never heard,” “screeching tires and true love,” “burn my whole life down,” “This bitchin’ and moaning,” “my good name,” “vipers dressed in empath’s clothing,” “most judgmental creeps,” “sololoquies I’ll never see,” “beat of my heart,” “chemistry,” “Destiny,” “pray for me,” “wild boy,” “wild joy,” “gray,” “white noise,” “people in town,” “my fakest smiles,” “when the heat died down,” “wine moms,” “it’s over,” “dancin’ in my dress in the sun,” “I’m his lady,” “you can’t come to the wedding.” 
  • Lesson: Taylor’s life is not ours to voice opinions on. 

What is But Daddy I Love Him About? 

The protagonist in But Daddy I Love Him is a small town Christian girl, whom the townspeople try to control. This is Taylor’s metaphor for her celebrity status, and the gossip that constantly swirls around her love life. 

The central message in the song is that her life is not ours to control or critique; she made her own name, and she alone can steer her life in any direction she chooses. 

Who is But Daddy I Love Him About? 

Most fans think But Daddy I Love Him was inspired by the media circus and backlash that Taylor received when she briefly dated Matty Healy in the summer of 2023.

Healy is a somewhat controversial figure, and this track is likely Taylor’s response to the reaction she received from her fans about this choice of boyfriend.  

But Daddy I Love Him Explained: Line by Line

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The first verse reads: "I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutchin' their pearls, sighing, "What a mess" I just learned these people try and save you 'Cause they hate you"

“I forget how the West was won,” she muses in the first verse, “I forget if this was ever fun.” She’s conquered the “wild, wild west” of the music industry, but she can’t remember how she managed it.

She bested the wild west of the country world, then staked her claim in pop music. But it’s no longer fun; it just feels like a chore. 

“I just learned these people only raise you / To cage you,” she says. The narrator feels as though she’s been bred in captivity, not allowed out into the real world. Taylor has used a cage metaphor to portray her fame before, in Bejeweled, So it Goes, tolerate it, Midnight Rain and more. 

Here, she’s been ‘penned in’ to a certain stereotype: the good Christian girl and country artist with hometown values. She’s not that person anymore, but some of her fanbase still thinks she should be. 

The “Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best” are “Clutchin’ their pearls, sighing, ‘What a mess’.” The ‘good christian’ nobodies of the world silently scold her, feigning moral superiority. 

“I just learned these people try and save you,” she says of the Christian do-gooders, “’Cause they hate you.” Like evangelicals who try to “save” the LGBTQ community from “sin,” the “Sarahs and Hannans” try to “save” Taylor from herself. 

But why do they do it? Because “they hate you.” They don’t want you to exist in your natural form, because they find it unacceptable. 

1st Pre-Chorus & Chorus: “Too High A Horse”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The first pre-chorus and chorus reads: "Too high a horse For a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door On my whole world The one thing I wanted Now I'm runnin' with my dress unbuttoned Scrеamin', "But, Daddy, I love him" I'm havin' his baby No, I'm not, but you should see your faces I'm tellin' him to floor it through thе fences No, I'm not coming to my senses I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want"

All this evangelical “saving” is “too high a horse / for a simple girl / to rise above it.” The public are up on their high horses, preaching their moral superiority. But their standard is “too high a horse”: she can never please everyone, and the expectations are unrealistic. 

She’s not a “simple girl” – this is satire – but she is, also, only a human. How is she supposed to rise above the constant chatter that tries to tear her down, when she’s a fallible human being? 

“They slammed the door / On my whole world,” she says, “The one thing I wanted.” The people who think they know what’s best for her blocked off her path to happiness. 

This is likely alluding to the media and social media criticism of Taylor when she briefly dated Matty Healy in 2023. The backlash was swift and brutal, and even the most die-hard Swifties briefly turned on Taylor. Why? Because they disapproved. 

But who are we to Taylor? Strangers. We may feel like we know her, but we don’t. She only lets us see what she wants us to see. We don’t know her true heart or mind, and we don’t get a say in her life. We only think we do because of the strange nature of parasocial relationships with celebrities. 

After they “slammed the door,” Taylor is “runnin’ with my dress unbuttoned / Scrеamin’, ‘But, Daddy, I love him’.” This is a likely reference to The Little Mermaid, in which Ariel screams the phrase to her father the sea king. 

In that classic narrative, the mermaid falls in love with a human, much to the disapproval of her father. But here, Taylor isn’t screaming at her actual father. She’s letting her audience know what’s really in her heart. We are her metaphorical “daddy” who disapproves of the relationship. 

She puts herself inside a classic narrative trope: the “good girl” is found in bed with a “bad boy,” and the father chases after them. She’s not fully dressed, trailing after her father who is going to beat up her boyfriend. 

“I’m havin’ his baby,” she says, then quickly retracts, “No, I’m not, but you should see your faces.” She jokes that she’s another narrative trope: a “fallen woman” with a Scarlet ‘A’ emblazoned across her open dress, pregnant out of wedlock. 

“I’m tellin’ him to floor it through thе fences,” she says, alluding to another classic narrative trope of the Getaway Car. The two lovers run away from their disapproving families, like Romeo and Juliet. 

“No, I’m not coming to my senses,” she tells her father (her audience). “I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want.” She’s in love with the “bad boy,” and she sees that she’s inside this overused narrative trope. 

But like all of Taylor’s narratives, it’s not ours to steer. We might not approve of her lover, but we don’t write the plot. She does, even if it’s a well-worn narrative trope.

Verse 2: “He Was Chaos, He Was Revelry”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The second verse reads: "Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growin' up precocious sometimes means Not growin' up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall"

The second verse details what her life was like before she met “the one I want.” 

She was the “Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid.” She was the “good girl,” like the narrative trope of the pastor’s daughter.

“Plans were laid” means both that her life was laid out before her, but it’s also a double entendre: her plans got ruined because she got “laid”. 

“Tendrils tucked into a woven braid” paints a picture-perfect image of her pristine life, perfect hairdo and all. But a braid with tendrils alludes to a hidden life; a woven tapestry of her soul that’s not as simple and straightforward as it seems. 

“Growin’ up precocious sometimes means / Not growin’ up at all,” she muses. She’s described this odd coming of age in the celebrity world before, as in The Archer: “I never grow up, it’s getting so old,” and Anti-Hero’s “I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser.”  

“He was chaos, he was revelry,” she says of when she first met her lover, “Bedroom eyes like a remedy.” Her simple life was upended by his “chaos” and “revelry,” bringing excitement and soothing her boredom with his seductive eyes. 

But then their romance is discovered: “Soon enough, the elders had convened / Down at the city hall.” The “elders” are anyone who thinks they have a say in Taylor’s life, and the “city hall” is social media, gossip, and tabloid fodder. 

2nd Pre-Chorus: “The Saboteurs Protested Too Much”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The second pre-chorus reads: ""Stay away from her" The saboteurs Protested too much Lord knows the words We never heard Just screeching tires and true love"

Once the “elders” convene, they implore: “Stay away from her.” They try to scare him off, so as not to ruin her “good girl” image. 

But it doesn’t work, and she sees through it. “The saboteurs / Protested too much,” she says, alluding to Hamlet. That classic line – “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” – means that the complaints are too excessive and insincere. 

“Lord knows the words,” she says of their complaints, “We never heard.” They’re not even listening, or just tuning them out altogether. 

All they hear is “Just screeching tires and true love,” speeding away in their getaway car to escape the townspeople who will only try to “save” them. 

Post-Chorus: “It’s Mine Alone to Disgrace”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The post-chorus reads: "I'll tell you something right now I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin' I'll tell you something 'bout my good name It's mine alone to disgrace I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing"

The rebellious chorus repeats, then she addresses her reader directly. 

“I’ll tell you something right now,” she says, in a candid “dear reader” moment, “I’d rather burn my whole life down / Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin’ and moanin’.” 

This is her – very forcefully – saying that anyone who wants to voice their opinion on her life choices can shut the f*** up. She’d rather burn it all to the ground than have to listen to everyone’s misguided and unsolicited opinions. 

“I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name,” she says, addressing anyone who has tried to tear her down or critique her, “It’s mine alone to disgrace.” She’s the only one who can tarnish her “good name” – both Taylor the woman and Taylor the brand. Her reputation is not ours to burn to the ground. 

“I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing” calls back to SnakeGate: the first time people tried to tear down her reputation. 

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Anyone who comes at her with advice or opinions in the name of concern (the disguised “vipers”) can just shut their mouths. SnakeGate won’t happen again, she says, unless it’s on her terms and for a reason she really believes in. 

And what hill will she die on this time? Her choice of lover. It’s her choice, not ours. 

Bridge: “Sanctimoniously Performing Soliloquies I’ll Never See”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The bridge reads: "God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what's best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see Thinkin' it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it's just white noise, and it's just my choice"

The bridge details more of how she feels about the “vipers dressed in empath’s clothing.” 

“God save the most judgmental creeps,” she says with cheeky religious irony, “Who say they want what’s best for me.” The “most judgmental creeps” are the same as the “vipers dressed in empath’s clothing”: it’s anyone who thinks they know what her life should look like. 

The “judgmental creeps” are “sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see.” This means that the public are on their morally superior soap boxes (likely social media in this case). They tear her down to try to make themselves look better, but she’s not listening. 

They’re “Thinkin’ it can change the beat / Of my heart when he touches me,” but it can’t. Their complaints and sanctimonious “bitchin’ and moanin’” can’t change her feelings for her lover. 

It also can’t “And counteract the chemistry / And undo the destiny.” Her chemistry with her lover is real, and like science, it can’t be changed with opinions. He’s her “destiny,” alluding to the Invisible String that’s led her into his arms. 

“You ain’t gotta pray for me,” she tells the sanctimonious whiners, “Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy.” She’s just fine: she doesn’t need prayers or to be saved. Her “wild boy” might not be who they would pick, but he brings her nothing but “wild joy.” 

“If all you want is gray for me,” she says, “Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice.” If they want her to have a bland, boring life, then she’s not listening. 

The “gray” calls back to You’re Losing Me, in which her “face was gray, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick. In So Long, London, she’s “just getting color back”, but her detractors would rather she goes back to the sick, boring life she had before, just because they don’t agree with her choices. 

These dissenting opinions that want “gray” for her are just “white noise” in the background: she doesn’t pay attention to it at all. 

Verse 3: “Scandal Does Funny Things to Pride”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The third verse reads: "There's a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holdin' out, but fuck 'em, it's over"

The third verse describes what happened after she ran away with her lover in a scandalous eruption. 

“There’s a lot of people in town that I / Bestow upon my fakest smiles,” she says. The “town” is her world: social media, Hollywood, etc. She knows who she can trust, and who she has to put on a pageant smile for because she secretly despises them. 

“Scandal does funny things to pride,” she muses, “but brings lovers closer.” When they tried to tear her down in scandal, all it did was push her closer to her lover. It backfired. 

(Side note: Gaylors will point to this lyric as a pointed reference to the Lover era, which it totally could be. But I don’t speculate about Taylor’s sexuality here, I just analyze lyrics with the information I have at hand).

“We came back when the heat died down,” she says, “Went to my parents and they came around.” After the initial scandal, they come back to “town” and gain acceptance from her family. They’ve won over the most important people, so who’s left? 

“All the wine moms are still holdin’ out, but fuck ’em, it’s over,” she says. The “wine moms” (same as the “judgmental creeps” and “vipers”) won’t let go of their opinions, but it’s over: the battle is won, and troops go home. 

“Fuck ‘em, it’s over” is vague: is her relationship over, so all the “scandal” that it caused moot? Or is it “over” because her family now accepts him? 

Final Chorus: “Dancin’ In My Dress in the Sun”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The final chorus reads: "Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I'm his lady And, oh my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And, no, you can't come to the wedding I know it's crazy, but he's the one I want"

The chorus changes into a celebration. “Now I’m dancin’ in my dress in the sun and / Even my daddy just loves him,” she says. 

She’s now out in the daylight in her dress – no longer unbuttoned – and even her father has gotten on board. The sun dress that caused so much scandal when it was “unbuttoned” is now closed, representing the end of the turmoil. 

“I’m his lady,” she says, making it official, “And, oh my God, you should see your faces.” Everyone is still shocked, but there’s nothing to be shocked about anymore. 

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“Time, doesn’t it give some perspective?” she asks her reader. This calls back to Invisible String once again: “Time, curious time, cutting me open and healing me fine.” Time heals all wounds, and her reader should think about that: it’s time to get over it. 

“And, no, you can’t come to the wedding,” she says slyly. We dissented so hard: now that we’re on board, she hasn’t forgotten how much turmoil we caused. We don’t get a wedding invite. 

“I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want,” she says, happily skipping along in to the sunset with her chosen partner. 

Outro: “No, I’m Not”

Annotated lyrics to Taylor Swift's "But Daddy I Love Him" with red pen explaining hidden meanings, pointing out literary devices, and translating complex phrases. The outro reads: "Screamin', "But, Daddy, I love him" I'm having his baby No, I'm not But you should see your faces But, oh my God, you should see your faces (He was chaos, he was revelry) (He was chaos, he was revelry)"

The outro repeats parts of the chorus, and one line from the second verse: “he was chaos, he was revelry.” But what’s most interesting is her use of past vs. present tense in the outro. 

She’s firmly in the present tense, still “screamin’ ‘But, Daddy, I love him’.” But then she switches to the past tense: “he WAS chaos, he WAS revelry.” 

Either he’s no longer “chaos” and “revelry” because they’re no longer together, or they have skipped off happily into the sunset, and she’s looking back on their tumultuous beginning. 

But either way, she still loves him. And no one can convince her otherwise. 

But Daddy I Love Him Lyrics Meaning: Final Thoughts

Most of Taylor’s messages to her fans come in the form of lyrics, and here, she’s gift-wrapped a middle finger just for us. ‘Back off,’ she says to her fans, Gaylors included. Her romantic life is not ours to own.

But Daddy I Love Him is a more pointed, precise version of You Need to Calm Down, and it’s aimed directly at every fan too involved in her life.

She’s the Mastermind and the mirrorball, and her private life is exactly that: private. ‘Do you remember that I’m human, and I’m allowed to love who I love?’ she asks.

We didn’t. We forgot, and we slowly slink away into the depths of TikTok to go judge someone else.

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