‘How You Get The Girl’ Meaning: Swift’s Recipe for Rekindled Love

How You Get the Girl (Taylor’s Version) isn’t one of the most memorable tracks on 1989. But it does do something important in the Taylorverse: it tells a man exactly what he needs to do to get into the heart and mind of his partner. 

HYGTG is a roadmap into a woman’s heart: exactly what she needs to hear, when, how and why. If he follows it, he’ll be hers forever. Right?

Here’s my full analysis of the How You Get the Girl meaning, line by line. 

Cover image for the song analysis of Taylor Swift's 'Wildest Dreams' featuring the title in large, pale blue letters against a cloudy sky background. The phrase 'How You Get the Girl' is styled in cursive, indicating the specific version of the song. The logo 'Swiftly Sung Stories' is placed subtly at the bottom.

How You Get The Girl (Taylor’s Version)

  • Title: How You Get the Girl (Taylor’s Version)
  • Written by: Taylor Swift, Shellback, Max Martin
  • Track: 10, 1989 (Taylor’s Version)
  • Pen: Fountain (with maybe a bit of glitter gel pen) 
  • Lyrics from Genius

How You Get The Girl Lyrics: Narrative Synopsis

  • Setting: Actual or metaphoric front door of Taylor’s house (or a fictional female character). 
  • Characters: Narrator (Taylor, or a fictional female character), subject (“you”, who “gets the girl”). 
  • Mood: Frustrated but upbeat. 
  • Conflict: He broke her heart and left. 
  • Inciting Incident: He comes back after 6 months. 
  • Quest: Tell him exactly what he did wrong, and how he can make it right. 
  • Symbols & Metaphors: ghosts/haunting, rain, wedding vows. 
  • Theme: Teaching some lessons on love. 
  • Imagery: “like a ghost, shakin’ from the rain,” “pictures in frames, kisses on cheeks”
  • Lesson: Exactly how to get into Taylor’s heart: be vulnerable. 

How You Get The Girl (Taylor’s Version) Lyric Video

Who is How You Get The Girl About?

It’s likely about the central on-again, off-again relationship that many 1989 songs describe.

Taylor explained, “This song is kind of an instruction manual for a guy who has broken up with his girlfriend and lets six months go by and the lengths he will need to go to to get her back… He will need to do all the things in this song.”

Fans theorize that this relationship was Harry Styles.

What is How You Get The Girl About?

It’s a roadmap for how to win an ex-girlfriend back. Taylor encourages the male subject of the song to be vulnerable, say what he’s afraid of, and tell the girl how he really feels. 

If he does that, Taylor says, he’ll “get the girl.” 

Is the girl someone else, or Taylor herself? It’s unclear.

How You Get the Girl Meaning: Line by Line

Image showing an annotated section of Taylor Swift's 'How You Get the Girl' lyrics against a cloud-filled sky. The notes emphasize Taylor's narrative strategy and use of imagery and metaphor. This analysis is part of the 'Swiftly Sung Stories' series, attributed to 'Taylor Swift, "How You Get the Girl" (Taylor's Version). The first verse reads: "Stand there like a ghost, shakin' from the rain, rain She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane-ane?" Say, "It's been a long six months" And you were too afraid to tell her what you want, want"

Verse one opens with the first instruction for how this man can get his girlfriend back. 

Go to her front door, Taylor says. This means go back to her, of course. Start with that: just go. Don’t do it over text or phone. Go to her.

Once he arrives, she imagines he’s “like a ghost, shakin’ from the rain.” The ghostly imagery paints him as an apparition: did he possibly ghost his ex-lover? 

The rain provides a classic proclamation of your love in the rain at the front door moment, like every rom-com you’ve ever seen. 

The ex-girlfriend will open up the door, and ask if he’s “insane” – it’s been 6 months since they spoke. 

Taylor tells him to say “it’s been a long 6 months,” and that he was “too afraid to tell her” what he really wanted. 

So what’s the major message? Be vulnerable. Tell her it was fear that made you run away in the first place.

Vulnerability is always a good idea, no matter if it’s in the pouring rain or under sunny skies.

Pre-Chorus & Chorus: “And That’s How it Works”

Image showing an annotated section of Taylor Swift's 'How You Get the Girl' lyrics against a cloud-filled sky. The notes emphasize Taylor's narrative strategy and use of imagery and metaphor. This analysis is part of the 'Swiftly Sung Stories' series, attributed to 'Taylor Swift, "How You Get the Girl" (Taylor's Version). The first pre-chorus and chorus read: "[Pre-Chorus] And that's how it works That's how you get the girl And then you say [Chorus] "I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait forever and ever" And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl, oh And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl"

“And that’s how it works,” she says. “That’s how you get the girl.” 

Done and dusted, right? He got her back! 

But not so fast. He needs to say a lot more.  

Taylor says to ask her – essentially – to marry him. Not in so many words, but to say “I want you for worse or for better.” That line feel familiar?

“For better or for worse, for richer or poorer.” This is taken straight from wedding vows. 

The proposal is a bit out of left field, but the next bit is key: tell her “I broke your heart, I’ll put it back together.” 

Essentially, she urges him to own up to what he did (I would personally put that before the proposal, but that’s just me). 

So we’ve got vulnerability and accountability, with a strange marriage proposal thrown in. “And that’s how it works,” she says, “that’s how you get the girl.” 

🩵🩵 Can you pass the 1989 TV Lyrics Quiz? 🩵🩵

Verse 2: “Remind Her of How it Used to Be”

Image showing an annotated section of Taylor Swift's 'How You Get the Girl' lyrics against a cloud-filled sky. The notes emphasize Taylor's narrative strategy and use of imagery and metaphor. This analysis is part of the 'Swiftly Sung Stories' series, attributed to 'Taylor Swift, "How You Get the Girl" (Taylor's Version). The second verse reads: "Remind her how it used to be, be, yeah, yеah Of pictures in frames, of kisses on cheeks, cheeks Tеll her how you must have lost your mind, ooh When you left her all alone and never told her why, why"

Verse 2 gives more instructions: “remind her how it used to be.” She gives some examples: “of picture frames, of kisses on cheeks.” I think this means a framed picture of them kissing on cheeks, but it’s unclear. 

“Tell her how you must have lost your mind…when you left her all alone and never told her why.” This is admitting he made a mistake, another form of accountability. 

Bridge: “I Don’t Want You to Go”

Image showing an annotated section of Taylor Swift's 'How You Get the Girl' lyrics against a cloud-filled sky. The notes emphasize Taylor's narrative strategy and use of imagery and metaphor. This analysis is part of the 'Swiftly Sung Stories' series, attributed to 'Taylor Swift, "How You Get the Girl" (Taylor's Version). The bridge reads: "[Bridge] And you know That I don't want you to go [Break] Remind me how it used to be Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks And say you want me, yeah, yeah, 'cause And then you say"

The bridge changes the perspective: it’s now in 1st person.

“And you know that I don’t want you to go,” she says. It’s no longer “her”, it’s Taylor’s perspective. 

“Remind me how it used to be,” she says, “and say you want me.” 

Here’s our tiny clue that this has really been about Taylor all along. Is she instructing an ex on how to get her back, and not some fictional friend? 

Final Chorus & Outro: “That’s How You Got the Girl”

Image showing an annotated section of Taylor Swift's 'How You Get the Girl' lyrics against a cloud-filled sky. The notes emphasize Taylor's narrative strategy and use of imagery and metaphor. This analysis is part of the 'Swiftly Sung Stories' series, attributed to 'Taylor Swift, "How You Get the Girl" (Taylor's Version). The final chorus and outro read: "[Chorus] "I want you for worse or for better (Worse or for better) I would wait forever and ever (Ever and ever) Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I want you forever and ever (I want you forever and ever)" And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl ('Cause it's how it works) And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl (Get the girl, that's how it works) And that's how it works (Oh) That's how you get the girl, girl (Oh) And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl [Outro] And that's how it works That's how you got the girl

The chorus repeats, but this time it’s all “I”. And the repeated use of “I”, coupled with the theoretical conversations that were happening earlier, make me believe they’re now saying this to each other. 

Now it’s not a fictional friend getting his girlfriend back as “I”: it’s Taylor saying “I”, and the man is saying it back to her.

Or at least they are in Taylor’s mind. Why? Because we get a happy ending. 

The outro changes: “how you get the girl” to “how you got the girl.” This puts it in the past tense. 

Did he do it? Did he follow the roadmap to getting her back, and it worked? 

Possibly. This song is all a little hazy, but it’s good advice for anyone: be vulnerable, take accountability, and own up to your mistakes. 

How You Get the Girl Meaning: Final Thoughts 

Is this one of Taylor’s best songs lyrically? No.

But it does draw many comparisons to the on-again, off-again relationships explored in I Wish You Would, All You Had to Do Was Stay and Out of the Woods. 

Is it about the same relationship? It’s likely, and it could be not an instruction manual for a “male friend” as Taylor claimed, but to her ex himself. 

🩵🩵 Can you pass the 1989 TV Lyrics Quiz? 🩵🩵

More Songs From 1989 (Taylor’s Version) 

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